When I was in deep burnout, I asked my psychologist this exact question:
“How do I rest and recover when I still have to get through this load of work?”
She explained that autistic brains can have a greater tendency towards all-or-nothing thinking than allistic brains. Everyone does it, but we can do it more.
So we think it has to be:
REST or WORK.
But the reality is that it is never one or the other.
Sometimes, we need to find ways to rest while life carries on.
For me, that started with self-compassion.
I had to become a little gentler with myself and let go of my strict expectations.
If I didn't cook, that was okay. The kids weren't going to die if they ate cereal for supper.
If I had to stay up all night studying, I chose not to be angry with myself for not getting enough rest.
If I chose to take the night off, I chose not to stress about the work I hadn't done.
I had to loosen my grip on how I believed things “should” be.
Make Yourself a Priority
Next, I started making myself a priority.
That looks different for everyone, but if you don't know where to start, physical health is always a solid option.
I'm not saying to become a health nut overnight.
Just make small, healthy choices where you can.
Drink more water. Not necessarily two litres a day. Just more than usual.
Get some movement. Not a full workout at the gym. Maybe just walk around the garden.
Get better sleep. Not necessarily eight hours every night, but perhaps read before bed instead of watching videos on your phone.
Eat nourishing food. Or reduce the things that you know make you feel awful, like too much sugar or caffeine.
And here's the most important thing:
Don't do it all at once.
When we're in burnout, massive lifestyle changes are simply too much.
We're going for slow and steady.
Small decisions every day that tell your body:
“I'm choosing you today.”
It might sound silly, but it really works.
When you consistently make choices that show yourself that your wellbeing matters, you start to regain a sense of agency.
It doesn't happen overnight.
But it really is possible. ❤️🩹
Sometimes, Something Else Has to Change
There is another important part of burnout.
If your environment consistently exceeds your ability to cope, the hard reality is that something needs to change.
That can mean a few things.
1. Ask for accommodations
You might need:
2. Make reasonable changes yourself
You don't have to change everything, but make adjustments where you can:
3. Change the environment
And sometimes, we have to recognise that the environment itself isn't sustainable.
Orchids cannot thrive in a desert.
Cacti cannot thrive in a rainforest.
No matter how hard they try.
Sometimes, the problem isn't that you're not trying hard enough.
Sometimes, your environment is the problem.
Creating a world that meets your needs is possible.
It might be scary.
It might take time.
But it is possible.
Give yourself permission to believe that you are allowed to thrive.